Business email
Emails that get read — and replied to.
Most business email is over-hedged, under-specific, and quietly defensive. We rewrite it for warmth, clarity, and a clear ask.
Before & after
Before
Hi John, I hope this email finds you well. I wanted to reach out and follow up on our previous conversation regarding the proposal we sent over last week. Please let me know if you've had a chance to review it and if you have any questions or concerns. Looking forward to hearing back from you. Best regards, Sarah.
After
Hi John — circling back on the proposal we sent last Tuesday. Have you had a chance to look it over? Happy to walk through any of it on a quick call this week. — Sarah
What changed, and why
- Opening pleasantry removed — it was placeholder, not warmth.
- Replaced 'reach out and follow up' with the actual action ('circling back').
- Specific date ('last Tuesday') replaces vague 'last week.'
- Closing offers a concrete next step instead of a passive 'looking forward.'
- Two short sentences instead of four medium ones — the cadence reads decisive.
When to use this rewrite
Use this rewrite anytime an email is bound for a senior reader, a customer relationship matters, or you need a reply within a defined window.
What to avoid
Don't strip warmth in the name of brevity. A short cold email reads colder than a slightly longer warm one. The goal is clarity with a human voice, not a telegram.
Common questions
Will my voice still come through?
Yes. The rewrite preserves your phrasing where it's working and only changes the structural elements that obscure the message.
Is this just shortening?
No. Shorter is often better, but the real change is rhythm, specificity, and a clear ask. A well-rewritten email can be the same length and still feel transformed.